Grieving

I am still working through the grieving process whatever that means. My dear brother Tom died on April 13th and I haven't felt much like blogging....and I have been busy. I think getting back into the swing of things will help me so I will attempt to resume blogging.

I figure that I have XXX number of tears that will fall and only God knows the answer to the number. At this stage of my grieving, I'm pretty certain that the number is more than the number of hairs on my head!

There are many things which have helped me in the recent weeks and I would like to tell you some of them. Every sympathy card I received was like a friend reaching out to me. I was amazed that so many of my online friends took the time to look up my address and send a card.

One of my friends wrote -- it is never the right time to lose a loved one but God is never surprised by the timing. I found that comforting.

I also found a conversation with Pastor Timothy Landskroener of comfort when he reminded me that the explanation to the first commandment is that we fear, love and trust in God above all things. Trust means that we rely on God doing the right thing even when we can't see the wisdom to it. I obviously can't see the wisdom of my brother being gone from this earth but I trust God that He knows what's best.

That leads me to the hymn which is so comforting to me.
What God ordains is always good. He is my Friend and Father;
He suffers naught to do me harm. Tho' many storms may gather.
Now I may know both joy and woe, some day I shall see clearly
That He hath loved me dearly.

What God ordains is always good, Though I the cup am drinking
Which savors now of bitterness, I take it without shrinking.
For after grief God grants relief, My heart with comfort filling
And all my sorrow stilling.

Pastor Williams Parsons who preached at Tom's funeral assured us all that Tom is more alive now than any of us left on this earth. Of that I am certain and that brings comfort. I am certainly not crying for Tom - he is blessed beyond measure. He is with his Savior in a way we have yet to experience. He is also with my dad and mom and for that I rejoice. Yet I continue to weep for my loss.